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I am assailed externally by fear of what other’s think about me and internally about what I think of me – when these two line up it can have a powerful and damaging effect on my psyche. When I have a fear of not getting stuff and this is linked to insecurity, as mentioned in the Big Book, it is usually in relation to my pocket book, financial insecurity, personal relationships, self esteem etc. I have seen in myself how fear and shame seem to drive most of my maladaptive behaviour.
- We will try to fill this god-sized hole with anything we can.
- It chains us to the past and endangers recovery because we drank on shame and guilt.
- What that means is that all that is required is the belief in a power greater than yourself.
- This mesh of negative emotions can link up fairly instantaneously I find.
I must be God centered instead of self centered and God directed rather than self directed . The specific directions in the first 102 pages of the book Alcoholic Anonymous. The spiritual malady is the result of my being out of order with my higher power who I choose to call God.
The spiritual malady and addiction
In our addictions, we tried to quench our soul-thirst with fleeting pleasures. The pursuit of them dominated our lives, destroyed relationships, and caused greater desperation than we ever thought possible. We became selfish and self-seeking, ever thirsting for more, and this lust warped us on every level. But we were never satisfied, because but the living presence of God can quench our parched souls. Even if you don’t believe in God right now, it’s important to keep an open mind.
For example, false pride, intolerance, impatience, arrogance, shame, lust, gluttony, greed. Psychological conditions, from depression to anxiety, can be a factor in memory loss among adults of any age. Though our decision was a vital and crucial step, it could have little permanent effect unless at once followed by a strenuous effort to face, and to be rid of, the things in ourselves which had been blocking us. Finally, someone explained to me that those things are not the insanity that the Big Book talks about; nor are those things why the alcoholic’s life becomes unmanageable. If you or someone you love is struggling with addiction help is available 24/7. One of the most important things in AA is finding a sponsor – someone who has been through the program and can help guide you through it.
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First things first, if anticipation of the future and what holds spiritually is alive, lay it down. Addiction must be tended to on the physical realm, or at least, this is the primary focus initially. When anticipation of the future consumes potentially healthy actions of the addict, this is simply another way that the addiction is dominating the healthy self. The worried or rebellious anticipation of the future is a cue to bring the focus back to seeking physical abstinence and motivations for doing so. Many people who are in need of recovery resist it knowing that the solution is spiritual.
It was one more thing that my disease used to separate me from other folks in the rooms of recovery, another way to feel unique. For many folks, including myself, ‘the spiritual’ aspects of recovery can be a challenge. We tend to show up with a truckload of old ideas in this area and a lot of us consider ourselves to be atheists. The practice of Christian Meditation offers a remedy to the https://ecosoberhouse.com/. When we enter the silence with discipline and perseverance, we make space for the living presence of God to heal us from the inside out.
What Leads to a Malady of The Spirit?
When the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous was written and published in 1939, the times and language of those times was incredibly different than modern times. This is one of the reasons that Big Book study groups have become so popular among recovering alcoholics. Apart from dissecting the Big Book so as to have a firmer grasp on the 12 Steps and program and in general, it also is designed to help us decipher the intricate language and wording used from a different time period. Old timers and recovering people with more experience can explain in layman’s terms just what the author Bill W.
I have not been taught as a child or since to simply say I am upset. We have to show love and tolerance for each other as we suffer the same illness/malady. Dismissing others like us for having what we have and acting as we do is like a form of self loathing. We have to forgive ourselves and each other for being ill. Self compassion allows us to be compassionate towards others.
I look at the past fleetingly sometimes to help others but I never stare at it too long. Otherwise we have not really completely treated our alcoholism. We have a sea change in how we think and feel about ourselves and the world around us. It is almost miraculous, the sudden transformative effect it can have on us. We have the chance to be free from the sick version of our real self, the self that has been in bondage, in addiction.
A decade of therapy also showed Bill Wilson he has two default settings in his relationship to other human beings – he either tried to dominate them or he became dependent on them for his sense of self and emotional well being. In other words, he became dependent on others, on external means for approval and elevating his self esteem. I also think the issues are complicate because alcoholism have some many similarities to GAD, MDD, OCD, and so on. It was 80 years ago, so our knowledge base has moved on greatly from when the Big Book was written. Hence I believe we should appreciate that this definition of our condition has been updated by research into emotions especially in the last 20 years.
What is A Spiritual Malady?
I do not believe I have the same spiritual malady as other normal people such as those people who were in the Oxford Group. Let’s say two people, an alcoholic and someone who’s not an alcoholic, are both broke. Does the alcoholic get to use the excuse “I’m an alcoholic, my friend is just a thief? Why is it that when an alcoholic is dishonest or engages in some other type of poor behavior, we hear people refer to it as alcoholic behavior? Alcoholic thinking is having thoughts like, “I’ll have just one,” or “it really wasn’t that bad.” If our past proves otherwise, and we think like this, then that’s alcoholic thinking. I believe that all people develop some type of unhealthy passion, but that doesn’t mean they are an addict.
